What I Think of the Breville Bambino Plus: My Kitchen’s Tiny Barista (And Why It’s Better Than My Local Café)
Spoiler: This Machine Made My Latte Art Look Almost Intentional (But My Wallet Still Cries Espresso Tears)
Confession: My coffee journey peaked at instant granules and a microwave. Enter the Breville Bambino Plus – a $500 espresso wizard that promised café-quality drinks without the side hustle of learning Italian. After testing it through burnt shots, milk explosions, and one almost-Instagrammable heart-shaped latte, here’s my caffeinated verdict.
Why This Machine Brewed Its Way Into My Heart
1. ThermoJet Heating: Faster Than My Morning Panic
The 3-second heat-up left my old espresso maker (and my patience) in the dust. By the time I muttered “where’s the damn portafilter?” – it was ready.
2. Auto MilQ Frother: Foolproof Foam (Even for Fools)
The auto-steam wand delivered microfoam so silky, my oat milk looked like liquid velvet. Three settings:
- Warm: For “I need caffeine NOW” mornings.
- Hot: For pretending I’m a Sydney barista.
- Nuclear: For punishing my lactose intolerance.
3. 54mm Portafilter: Bigger = Better (That’s What She Said)
The professional-sized portafilter fit 18g of beans – enough to fuel my existential crises. Paired with low-pressure pre-infusion, my shots oozed caramel crema, not bitterness (unlike my dating life).
4. Compact But Mighty: Fits My Studio Apartment “Kitchen”
Smaller than my cat’s ego, it squeezed between my toaster and stack of unpaid bills. Finally, a machine that understands space is a luxury.
What Almost Made Me Throw It Out the Window
- Price Tag: $500 buys a lot of Starbucks. But Starbucks doesn’t judge my pajamas.
- Learning Curve: Burnt my first 6 shots. YouTube tutorials became my new religion.
- Milk Mess: Forgot to purge the steam wand. My counter now doubles as a modern art exhibit.
Bambino Plus vs. the Competition
| Feature | Bambino Plus | De’Longhi Dedica | Gaggia Classic Pro |
|---|---|---|---|
| Heat-Up Time | 3 seconds | 15 seconds | 5 minutes |
| Milk Frothing | Auto + manual | Manual only | Manual only |
| Portafilter | 54mm (café-sized) | 51mm | 58mm |
| Price | $499 | $349 | $449 |
| My Take | Best for lazy perfectionists | Budget pick, basic | Pro-grade, high effort |
Who Should Buy This?
- Coffee Snobs: Chase that third-wave crema without leaving your robe.
- Small Spaces: Fits in a closet (if you’re into that aesthetic).
- Milk Froth Fiends: Auto-steam wand = dairy wizardry on demand.
- Gifters: For the friend who’s too fancy for Keurig but too lazy for Chemex.
Real-Life Testing: From Espresso Disasters to Triumphs
- First Shot: Bitter sludge. Blamed the beans. It’s not me, it’s you.
- Latte Art Attempt: Resembled a blobfish. Blamed the milk. Still not me.
- Week 3: Nailed a tulip design. Flexed on Instagram. Barista status: achieved.
FAQs (From My Jealous Coffee Club)
Q: Can it make iced drinks?
A: Pull a shot over ice, add milk, and pretend you’re in Bali. Yes.
Q: Does it work with pre-ground coffee?
A: Yes, but freshly ground beans = less existential dread in your cup.
Q: Is it loud?
A: Quieter than my blender, louder than my will to live pre-coffee.
Final Verdict
The Breville Bambino Plus isn’t cheap, but it’s the best compact espresso machine for caffeine addicts who hate compromises. If you want café-quality drinks without the 6 AM barista shift, this machine’s your new BFF. Just don’t blame it when your friends start “dropping by” unannounced.
