What I Think of the MANSCAPED Beard Hedger: My Face’s New Landscaper (And Why It’s Better Than My Barber)
Spoiler: This Trimmer Made My Beard Look Intentional (But My Cat Still Judges My Goatee)
Confession: My beard journey has included more uneven patches than a 90s boy band reunion. My old trimmer? A Walmart relic that tugged like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Enter the MANSCAPED Beard Hedger – a $80 grooming gadget that promised to turn my face fuzz into a GQ spread. After testing it on my lumberjack dreams, a disastrous mustache experiment, and one ill-advised soul patch, here’s my hairy truth.
Why This Trimmer Became My Mirror’s Best Friend
1. 20 Length Settings: From Lumberjack to “I Totally Have a Jawline”
The 0.5mm-adjustable wheel let me switch between:
- 10mm: For pretending I’m on Yellowstone.
- 3mm: For job interviews where “rugged” isn’t a vibe.
- 0.5mm: For when my partner whispers “scratchy…”
2. One-Stroke Wizardry: Bye-Bye, Patchy Regret
The angled T-blade lifted flat hairs and mowed them down in one pass. My neckline went from “cave dweller” to “actually owns a comb.”
3. Waterproof AF: Shower Grooming Champion
IPX7-rated to survive:
- My post-gym sweat storms.
- A clumsy drop into the sink (RIP, old trimmer).
- My attempts to trim while belting Bohemian Rhapsody.
4. 60-Minute Battery: Outlasted My Patience
Fully charged in 2 hours, it survived:
- A week of daily trims.
- My brother’s “Can I borrow this?” vacation.
- My existential crisis over a goatee.
What Almost Made Me Shave It All Off
- Price: $80 buys a lot of beard oil. But beard oil can’t fix a hack job.
- Learning Curve: First attempt left me looking like a reverse raccoon. Pro tip: Start long.
- Travel Case: Sleek, but my cat mistook it for a toy. RIP, zipper.
MANSCAPED vs. the Competition
| Feature | Beard Hedger | Philips Norelco | Wahl Lithium Ion |
|---|---|---|---|
| Blade Precision | Titanium-coated T-blade | Self-sharpening steel | Carbon steel |
| Settings | 20 (0.5mm increments) | 18 (1mm increments) | 10 (1.5mm increments) |
| Waterproof | IPX7 (shower-proof) | Splash-proof | Not waterproof |
| Price | $80 | $60 | $50 |
| My Take | Best for detail freaks | Budget pick, less precise | Barbershop classic |
Who Should Buy This?
- Beard Enthusiasts: From stubble to Santa, this handles it all.
- Travelers: Fits in a dopp kit, survives hotel sink drops.
- Overachievers: Perfect for guys who iron their flannel.
- Gifters: For the dad who still thinks “scruffy” is a personality.
Real-Life Testing: From Chaos to Chiseled
- Week 1: Nailed a crisp cheek line. Felt like Idris Elba. Mirror confirmed: Not Idris Elba.
- Shower Experiment: Trimmed mid-shampoo. No electrocution! Science win.
- Soul Patch Era: Lasted 2 days. Blamed the trimmer. Still not my fault.
FAQs (From My Jealous Bros)
Q: Does it work on body hair?
A: Technically yes, but MANSCAPED sells a Lawnmower for that. Stay in your lane.
Q: Can it edge up a bald head?
A: Yes, but my dome’s too shiny for tutorials.
Q: Replaceable blades?
A: Yep! Buy them here.
Final Verdict
The MANSCAPED Beard Hedger isn’t cheap, but it’s the best $80 I’ve spent on not looking like a castaway. If you want precision, shower-proof convenience, and a trimmer that doesn’t judge your midlife mustache phase, this gadget’s a no-brainer. Just don’t blame it when your barber sends you a breakup text.
